My Soccer Playing Princess

My four year old daughter, Charden, has been super crazy lately. I was venting to my mother about how crazy she is being, and she said, “Why don't you talk to someone who has been though it? Maybe they can tell you what to do.” My response was, “Mom, NO ONE has been through Charden.”

PINK!

Charden is very unique. She is a lot like Beau, but I think her mind works a lot like mine, which is scary. I can tell she is always thinking, her little mind is always going every which way. She will ask the most random of questions that are not common for a four year old. I can tell that she has thought extensively about death, because it is something that she doesn't understand. She is continually asking questions, which is normal for a four year old. It's just the type of questions that she asks that are so unique. Here is a recent conversation that her and I had:

Charden: “Mommy, what would you do if this house didn't have any food?”

Me: “I would go to the store and buy some.”

Charden: “Yay! But... what if the store didn't have any food, only tires?”

Me: “I would go to a store that had food.”

Charden: “Yay! ...But what about Rapunzel?”

Me: “What about Rapunzel?”

Charden: *laughs, then points to the blank wall behind her*

Okay, so... it's obvious that Charden worries a lot. She is clearly worrying about our family and how much food we have. She sees me cook three meals a day for her, and she wonders what I would do if there is no food here. But tires? What the hell? Where did that come from? And I don't even know what to think about Rapunzel. We haven't watched “Tangled” recently, or even discussed Rapunzel in weeks (Princesses are a main topic of conversation for us). I know that she worries, and she gets that from me. It's too bad. It's no fun worrying all of the time. But I'm also glad that it has her thinking about life. What if we didn't have food? She is not allowed to stay that she's “starving,” because she obviously isn't. I tell her that she doesn't know what it is to starve. I want her to appreciate having food readily available at all times.

Now, getting back to the princesses. I have absolutely no clue where this obsession came from. I am not a princess type. I don't wear make-up. I have three pairs of shoes that I rotate throughout the year. I wear t-shirts and jeans. I'm feminine, but not “girly.” My favorite colors are black and purple. Charden is obsessed, I mean OBSESSED with pink, dresses, princesses, jewelry, make up, diamonds, and flowers. Why? I certainly didn't push the pink. All of a sudden, maybe a year or a year and a half ago, over night, it was PRINCESS MANIA in my house. She used to have extensive conversations with me about princesses. She asks to wear a long, beautiful dress every day. She has this pink night gown that Mimi bought for her that has a picture of the Disney princesses on it. It is her most prized possession. She has ripped a few times because she is in love with the way that the sheer fabric feels, she can't stop holding it. She twirls around in it, pretending to dance, and she makes up princess songs about dancing through the forest and picking flowers while she does it. Of course, she has asked Daddy many times to be her prince. When he turns her down, Jamie is the next in line to fill that role.

Charden has a tremendous amount of energy and she doesn't know what to do with it. She is always asking for more of everything, which is typical. The television is the only way I can get her to stop asking continual questions. It is also the only way I can get her to stop crawling around on the floor, either pretending to be a baby or a cat, in which case she is either meowing or crying at the top of her lungs. Even two year old Adrienne gets tired out from playing with her. She is non-stop. I swear she wakes up talking. I'm pretty sure that she is ADHD. I would never medicate her though, or even pursue that diagnosis. Charden would simply not be Charden if this energy were contained.

Charden has a lot of trouble focusing. If she focused more, she would be able to learn so much more. I know she is so smart. She can outwit any adult who isn't me or Beau. She has manipulated both sets of grandparents before to get what she wants. She knows how to ask for something without actually asking for it- like a string of questions that will lead up to what she wants. Or not even a question, but a statement. For example:

“Jamie looks tired.”

I know exactly what this means. She is saying “Jamie looks tired” because that will get me to notice that it's the baby's naptime, so I will pick her up and put her to bed, and then come down and give Charden candy, because Charden only gets candy when Jamie is down for her morning nap. This is only one example that I can think of. Normally the string is much more complex than that. And usually, it leads to candy.

Her head is always in the clouds, and it's a great possibility that she is thinking about princesses while she's floating around up there. In order to get her to stop picking dandelions on the soccer field during a game, we would have to bribe her with candy to pay attention and score a goal. Often, she would be found on the other side of the field, away from the action, twirling around like a princess in the sun. 

Her power of observation is extremely limited, just like her father. She is unable to find anything. We have a rather small house, and one time she couldn't find Adrienne, who was standing in the middle of the kitchen.

Here are two more examples of her air-headedness:

I was babysitting a 10 month old, who was sleeping upstairs when Charden went down for her nap. The baby went home while Charden was sleeping. About an hour after she woke up, she asked, “Mommy, where's the baby?” I said, “He went home.” She said, “Wow, I can't believe he is still up there sleeping!” I said, “No Charden, he went home. Like I just told you.”

Another time, we were waiting for a pizza to be delivered and for our friends to come over. We were outside on the front porch. The pizza came first. I took it inside. I came back out and sat in a chair by the front door. Charden came up to the front door, right next to me, and looked inside the screen door. She asked into the house, “Mommy! What are you doing in there?” Mm hmm.

All in all, Charden is a great kid. She is just difficult to control. She has always been on the go, since the first moment I felt her kick. She as a real soccer player while in utero. Non stop. She was ready to come out too- ten weeks early. In the NICU, the nurses were unable to keep a blanket on her because she kicked and squirmed so much. She really is a miracle. And so unique. Life without her would be just plain boring, and unchallenging. I guess having a healthy dose of pink in my daily life isn't so bad. Hopefully she will be able to apply her energy to succeeding in life someday. Until then, it's all about the princess.

My Soccer Playing Princess

(Of course, her shin guards are pink, too).