"Cheesecake"

Today we went to my mom’s house to celebrate her birthday. Mimi and Papa’s house is amazing! So much fun and full of adventure, and Papa never says no! We loaded everyone up with the hopes that the younger two would sleep on the way there. Small has already had a morning nap, but it was about an hour shorter than expected. We pull onto a main street by our house and there’s the BLIMP! I was thinking to myself, as I was watching Medium dose off in the back seat in the rear view mirror, “Thank god we have been parents long enough to know not to point out the blimp, or the kids will never get to sleep. They’ll be too excited.” Literally seconds after I have completed that thought, my husband yells out, “Girls! Do you see the blimp?!” Medium’s eyes jut wide open, and they remain that way. Luckily she fell asleep about fifteen minutes away from Mimi’s house. It wasn’t a lot, but it was something.
 
  Small had no interest in a nap on the way there, which is frightening. Lucky for us, she was still pretty good the entire time. We pull up, and even though Medium has been there a hundred times, she still acts like we’re taking her to a slaughterhouse, and clings to my husband’s shoulders, preventing him from carrying anything in to the house. Small has much more attitude than that. My parents have four small dogs, and Small charges right at them, with her fat little finger pointing. She loves animals. Large hops out of the car and is immediately off in search of Papa and some adventure.

Bug Hunting with Papa

  
Uncle Denny (my brother) arrives with his dog, and there are children and dogs everywhere. Large and Papa go bug hunting, only to catch a toad that she nearly mutilates. Medium asks for a tractor ride, and Papa busts it out of the barn, and they’re off. There’s a huge bonfire. My mom is so excited to receive a photobook that I made for her of our recent NYC trip, that she can hardly contain herself. So, we open gifts.

Helping Mimi open presents

Now, in my family, I am notorious for giving out hysterical cards to the perfect person. I pride myself on this skill, and I take card-giving very seriously. No such luck this time. I spent twenty minutes at Walmart, looking through the birthday cards. My mother is a breast cancer survivor. She has also had a double mastectomy. So I’m looking through the cards for women in their middle ages. Most of the jokes are about sagging boobs. Okay, well I can’t very well buy a card like that. Then I find one that has Mr. Potato head about to pee in a urinal, the text box saying, “Crap, I left it at home.” That’s pretty funny... until I open it up and it says something like “At least you don’t have detachable parts!” Haha but my mom does! So I can’t get that one! (Though she has such a wonderful sense of humor about life, so she probably would have crapped herself laughing at that card. Hindsight sucks). I settle on a old woman stating that she gets five miles of exercise a day, and the catch phrase inside is that she doesn’t know where she is after walking the five miles. It’s lame, I know, but so is Walmart. I should have known better.
  

 The rest of the evening is spent in the backyard, where my parents have the deck from Hell if you have small children. No railings anywhere, and a pond with a set of stairs on either side, connecting the top deck to the bottom deck. There are also flower pots above the pond, and all little girls LOVE flowers. They’re like tiny colorful magnets, dangling dangerously three feet above the six foot pond. Small is 18 months old, and is just learning how to go down the stairs. I’ve been trying to teach her to go down backwards, but the more you tell her something, the more she won’t do it. Mom and I are sitting on the upper deck, and from where we are watching Small, it looks like she is about to topple on her face and roll into the pond while attempting to go down the stairs. This happens about 27 more times while we’re there.
  

Knuckleheads

 At one point, Medium has the bug net, and she has filled it with bird-shit-covered sunflower seed shells. When I scream and tell her to put them back, she flails the net all over the place, causing seeds to fly out everywhere. Large finds another toad and proceeds to almost mutilate it, until Uncle Denny saves the day by helping her. Small has a stick larger than herself, and is trying to carry it up the deck-from-hell’s stairs. The younger two dogs, both practically still puppies, are playing tug-of-war over another stick. Small continuously waves her fat finger at them yelling “nononono!” Is this all painting a nice picture for you of the chaos at Mimi’s party?

Small and Weezer

  Dessert time comes, and I bring out the “cheesecake” that I made. I put “cheesecake” in parentheses for two reasons. 1). It’s vegan, as my husband is vegan, and therefore has no dairy in it. 2). This thing resembled NOTHING of a cake. I used a different kind of pan (my springform was leaking) and a different kind of cream cheese (it was on SALE!). Dear god, this “cake” looked like curdled flan in a wind storm. It was more like a “pudding” than anything else. But the taste was there! It was very tasty! REALLY! My family ate it, and said quietly that it was good. Large looked at me and declared, “Mommy! It’s DELICIOUS! You’re the BEST cook!” And she’s FOUR! Four year olds don’t lie about such things. So it was good. Stop judging.

Eating pizza with Uncle Denny!

   
After presents, dinner, and “cake,” we go back by the fire pit and the little ones (and the dogs) kick around some rubber balls. Uncle Denny shows Large some new soccer moves (and she was actually listening and learning!). Mom declared that she wanted a picture of her and her grandbabies. At this point, Small is a walking zombie from the tiredness, and Medium is only moments away from a meltdown. She appeared fine, but I know her. When she’s that tired, something will set her off. And it’s always a mystery. So Mimi sits down, and the girls are piled on top, and about 13 pictures are taken, 2 of which turn out well. And I know what my mom is thinking. “This is what life is all about.”
   
And she’s 110% right. Little kids, running around with their pigtails and dirty knees, riding tractors with Papa and playing soccer with Uncle Denny. Discovering toads and going up and down stairs over and over again just because. Life is about being together, eating crappy “cheesecake” and laughing at detachable boobs. Life is amazing. My family is amazing.

    Mom, you are the strongest, most amazing and inspiring person I have ever known. Thank you for everything. Especially for being Mimi to three little girls who adore you. Happy Birthday!

Perfect!

...And then, Papa photobombs.